Noah's thoughts (journal)

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
3/7/13 A father…… I remember when she told me those word. I remember the reaction I had when I was told I was going to be a father. I was in shock. I know I am still young, still trying to find my own way. Christa was so excited , she came from being an only child, whose family hated her, she has no fears with having the baby. What am I going to do? For something I am barely ready for? Aja who seems to adopt me and Christa gave some goals. Work, save up, buy a house. I wonder if I ever be ready? Will she be safe in my arms, her and the baby. What if I fail them both? What if I tend to be like my blood mother and father whose has some much children they are struggling with. All Rhydin say. I am sure my name already on the lips. Icer and Arthur . my parents, whom I love. I made a bad move and take on Matt who I called Iceman. Because he has the opal and tower. I should have listen to Lady Rena and not step into the ring. If Zack and Rena didn’t take me out, I fear I will be dead. It took me days to recover even with Harper and Arthour healing me. And My parents saw that, they said I need to stop fighting in the rings. That is too dangerouos, that I have Christa and the baby to think of. I won’t.
 

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
3/9/13 Who would have thought I was living in a different plane that would have change so much. I should have still be 16 right if I didn't leave Rhydin. That I am 21 . still too young in some eyes in Rhydin. If it wasn't for old man Parker and Aja helping me know my age I would still be walking thinking I am 16. Parker gave me physical. Checking out my teeth, bone density and my blood when he was under him for medical attention. If it wasn't for Aja who considers me as a son and Parker who is stern and patience . I would still think I was 16. I owe them more than I should. I still go to Parker, trying to get my headaches without the visions of what happened to my sister called flashbacks. Parker said the barrier seems to work. That was good because I don’t want those flash backs again. There are some things a man shouldn't be able to see. Lot of things happened. Aunt Kitty had took me to back off on my relationship with Christa. I told her we was going to fast before anything. But what she had said that makes more sense to me. Yes I wanted to do something right. I do love Christa with all my heart but we barely know each other. We have forever to get to know each other.
 

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
3/17/13 It’s been a few week , Christa and I had settle into a pattern. I leave for the ship yard when the sun hadn’t woke up and peek in the sky. I don’t really want to leave the warm of the bed. But making a living for Christa and I needs to be done. So I pressed my lips on her and whisper ‘ I love you’ in her ears. Harlen keeps me busy in the yards, telling me new things that makes the vessel I am working on stronger. A few more touches than she will be ready for the water. That is going to be neat, I am learning how to sail. Well I have to, if I am going to be the son of Aja. In the rings, thing are looking up for me. It seems that Overlord wants me in a tournament to go for the overlord’s grant. So I could challenge a baron. I am still deciding on what to do. This is only a shot right. Things are looking up for me and Christa. Now I need to work on them getting better.
 

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
3/25/13
Disappoinment…… words come out my brothers’ mouth. Seeing the anger in mother's eyes the couple times that happened tonight. Something I don’t want to hear and see again. I wasn’t thinking right when I left the shooting range earlier than I am needed too. And taking a gun with a single clip.

I was trying to learn my own. I didn’t think I needed the lessons but maybe I do. I didn’t think I am danger to Christa and the baby.

I felt like a failure today. Disappointing them. I didn’t mean to disappointment them. Zack, Mom, Hochi, Aunt Rena.

Maybe I am trying and going to fail anyway? Fail my mother, fail my brothers. Fail Christa and the baby. Fail even myself? Should I give up to the darkness in my heart?

I felt like I did when I told them I am going to be a father. Which way is the path I needed to be?

So here I sit down in my own thoughts, Christa safe in the bed. My baby growing in her belly. Can I be the man she needs. The man that others see me to be?
______________
 

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
3/31/13 The days seem to blur since I first got on restriction. Getting up just to go and again. It doesn’t seem that I will get a moment alone with Christa now. A soft touch I try to give her and sweet kiss on her lips. My training with my brothers seem to start. Each on has different style. My training with Zack was the basics. Something I already but he wants to make sure I am prefect. I can tell he is going easy to me. There’s a promise in the air it was going get harder. As promise Meditating. He wanted to teach me to work my quick temper. Too soon to see if its working. My training with Hochi. Punching a bag and hitting a dummy with fist. Sword play is where my older brother seem to step up on me, who knows that wood sword. (lol. I know) Could have leave bruises. My muscles seem to be tight tonight. I also have my training with Lena with the balance style of fist training. Something a little more calmer. I have another day. Still busy in my new life. I have sheet practice with guns tomorrow after lunch, either with Mr. Ian and Mom. A few things happened it seemed that my brother and few others has bounties on them. I have my orders, I know what it is. Too keep me out of harm’s way and protect the one I love. I do hope my brother and my uncle will keep safe.
 

Noah Bird

New Member
20
0
0
11/25/2014
It’s been over a year that I wrote inside of my journal. I became a father on august 3 2013. Christian Steven Jeneson Bird. Christian is a perfect combination of Christa and Me. He has my stubborn personality and christa’s looks. Who would have thought I became a father at such young age, my only regrets is not using protection.
Baby Chris is not a mistake, don’t get me wrong. My mistake is not being careful and use a condom. It doesn’t matter now since I have magic spell that was place by Aunt Cherye (Chryrie?) that I couldn’t have babies. I am not going to be like my birth parents.
As I sit here, drinking my coffee. Wondering what I did wrong for Christa not to be around. Was I working too much for her. I have a family now. My son won't have my past. I know Mom won’t let that happen. I won’t. I promised Christian that. He would know the love of his family and not be raise by evil like I was.
Dante was right. And I glad I had him as friend. We spend a long time drinking and remember the past, talking about the future. He said it wasn’t my fault that Christa left me. Something happen for her just to do.
 
Forgot your password?